What do I mean by your friend and not your enemy?
What is fear? Well, fear, (False Evidence Appearing Real) is something imagined, not real, an illusion or an outcome that is usually based upon the worst imaginary scenario that you can make in your head. Generally, the last thing anybody wants is to find themselves in a fearful situation thus we try to avoid it. Well Just Stop it! Don’t turn your back on it. It is a friend not a foe. Let me make this as simple as I can. Essentially, it is fear that wants your attention but the illusions that you have created based on imagined scenarios typically mean that you look for the nearest exit to get the flock out of there.
Well just stop it!
Why should I? (I hear you say?) What’s in it for me?
Simples. If we are being honest with ourselves we can see that there are parts of our personalities, behaviours or responses (in certain life, work or relationship situations) that keep turning up in our daily, monthly or, yearly experience which we regularly try to avoid. They are damaging us in some way yet the more we try to avoid them, the more frequently or sooner it is that they turn up! Again! Ever wondered why? Well, whatever you resist persists. The more effort you put in to avoid it the more attention you put on it and the more it consumes your thoughts and emotions. The more you try not to think about something that you don’t want to happen or someone that you don’t like then the more it or they are with you, following you around in your head all day. You probably even go to bed with it or them and wake up in the morning after dreaming about it or them and it and they are waiting for you to wake up to join you for the next day.
And these need not be huge fears. They can be small and mundane in essence really but you make them huge! Things like fear of embarrassment, fear of looking daft, fear of meeting new people, fear of presenting to others, and such like.
Well just STOP it!
If there ever comes a time when you really have to face it, when there is no exit or any way out and it has to be dealt with, then the action of having to do it or face it usually proves that the scenario that you have created in your head is rarely, if ever, how you imagined it would be. It was false, the evidence was not real. The event was an imagined event, an illusion created by you. And how could it be real anyway? You had not actually experienced it because you would not go there because you have been persistently avoiding it! When you face a fear the outcomes are generally completely different and not as bad as you had imagined and created from false evidence that was appearing to be real to you at that time.
Through the illusion your friend awaits.
If you have to or could find the courage to go through the illusion then there is reward; a recognition of a part of you that’s been waiting to reconnect since the fear was created the first time you had a fearful experience similar to this one. The time the fear was installed or created from some past experience which on some level changed your life in some way by flavouring your present experiences. Not only do you re-connect with a part of you that was missing but as the fear subsides you no longer resist, so that particular fear no longer exists for you. When you look back, with hindsight, it all makes sense. You will have new leanings, new understandings, life skills and a release of energy. Your self-image will be improved.
Life is about completion. About learning lessons and skills and having a rock steady self-image; feeling proud, being beautiful and having the ability to remain flexible in this ever changing world. It is about having the ability to get yourself back to a good place as and when you need to.
So why is fear your friend?
Fear is your good friend that nags at your very soul until you
mend the errors of your ways or
deal with those things in denial or
change those silly childish behaviours that reoccur or
lose the ‘blame others’ attitude or
simply address those things that need a little improvement.
Fear tells you where to find the parts you have left behind on your journey of completion.
This town ain’t big enough for the both of them! When fear comes to town love goes on holiday and we all want to be loved don’t we? Unless you’re a big scared’y cat!
When you have no fear you can only feel unconditional love! It is your birthright and your lesson for life.
Face it by yourself, with a friend, a counsellor, a therapist. Do whatever you need to do to feel safe but face it, be-cause you’re worth it!
Integration not separation. Love not fear. A human just being, not being a fearful human living in a loveless world.
Love and gratitude
Please feel free to comment below as this subject is open to debate and deliberately provocative or contact Warren or Phil directly at www.possibilitiesunlimited.co.uk