Are you determined that 2013 will be different?
The trouble is so many New Year’s resolutions about changing your life seem to fall by the wayside by the 1st February.
Or maybe you’ve given up on resolutions altogether. They never seem to stick, so why bother!
New Years resolutions are, in principle, a great idea. But, and it is a big but, if all you do is say you are going to do something and not have the whole process clear in your mind then it is a very hard to follow through.
Not only do you need to know what you are going to do but also how you are going to do it and how you are going to meet the challenges that automatically arise as you start creating change.
As Einstein once said; “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
He also said; “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
With these two pieces of wisdom in mind it becomes pretty clear that to really make 2013 the best year for yourself you need to be thinking differently and doing something different too.
I work with many women who have been there, done that and got the T-Shirt and then realised to their horror they have the wrong T-Shirt. They have decided that they want the Right T-Shirt, which means that they have to think and do things differently.
One way of thinking differently is to question the limiting beliefs you have about what is and isn’t possible. Very rarely are we taught to actually question our thoughts and beliefs. Because they appear in our minds we take them as true. However, if you look closely you will be able to see that, in fact, the opposite could also be true.
For example, I work with many women, and when it comes to the question of finding a partner, they fall into two camps. The ‘it is impossible to find someone’ or the ‘spoilt for choice’ camp. What is so fascinating is that both viewpoints are true. Why? Because it is true for them.
They might go out to the same events, meet the same people, have similar desires for a relationship, even fancy the same kind of person and have an equal opportunity, and yet they have totally different results.
Why? It is their belief about what is possible that is different. Change your thinking, question your beliefs and you are on they way to truly creating change.
Not only do you need to change your thinking but your New Year’s resolution can only really work for you if you also change what you are doing. As Einstein said, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If you just set your New Year’s resolution and carry on doing the same as always then it will be hard to stick with it.
It is like saying that you want to increase your circle of friends but then only ever going to the same old places with the same old people and wondering why you are not meeting anyone different. You have to change the same old pattern that you have been following for years.
One thing that helps enormously to change your thinking and doing is to use different guidelines. We get very stuck in our old ways of doing things, often picked up from our family or friends. There seems to be an unwritten rule that this is how you are and what you do, and don’t upset the apple cart by doing anything different. In other words these are the rules you will live your life by.
I know from experience that you have to write your own rules, look at your world in a different way, allow yourself to think differently to those around you. That’s how you begin to live the life you want.
So this January I suggest that instead of trying to make huge changes on the 1st January you take the time to really uncover what it is you want 2013 to look like.
Resolve to use this quiet darkness of winter to begin to grow the picture of what your Right T-Shirt will look like. As the days begin to lengthen build this picture of the life you want to be living so that when spring comes you are ready to put it all into practice.
In that way you will be far more likely to make it happen, to stick with it, to change your thinking and doing and meet the challenges along the way until suddenly there you are – wearing your Right T-Shirt.
Article by Jessica McGregor Johnson
Jessica McGregor Johnson is the author of a new book The Right T-Shirt and has worked internationally as a coach for nine years empowering women to go out and live the life they choose. Jessica has been there, done that and got the wrong T-Shirt so has walked the path she now writes about.
In 1997 she left the corporate world and went to live in an Ashram. Her purpose was to discover what was really valuable to her in her life. On leaving she went to live in Southern Spain and trained as a coach and NLP practitioner. http://www.jessicamcgregorjohnson.com/