It was my 40th birthday when I had a first awareness that maybe my life wasn’t as good as I thought it was. On the surface, to anyone else, my life looked pretty good. I had achieved success as UK Sales Director of a software company and the birthday party was to be in my penthouse apartment, with only the best champagne served by waitresses. Despite the last minute texted invitations, the party was full of my friends and at midnight one of them gave an impromptu speech celebrating my achievements.
As she recounted my successes, I stood in a lonely pool of dismay, as I realised that I was literally too drunk to respond to her kind and generous words. That was the moment, upon reflection, when I had a glimpse of the fogginess in my life. That was the moment when I realised that something was wrong, very wrong, and that I was very simply NOT HAPPY.
It’s a bit of a shock to realise that you are not happy. It can be even more confusing if, on the face of things, your life appears to others to have all the ingredients of happiness. Many of my clients describe wonderful situations where they are happily married, with children, a beautiful home and a regular job, and yet still they find a reason to be unhappy.
Why is this? Why are we unhappy when we have followed all the rules for happiness and success?
I decided to find out more. The rules I had followed so far in life hadn’t worked. I needed to find a new set of rules. I became as determined to find answers as I had been to find financial success and I devoted the next five years of my life to a quest for clarity. The good news is that it wont take you that long! In fact I now have clients who can experience a breakthrough of clarity in less than an hour.
My intention for you is that in reading this, you too will reach a moment of clarity where you realise what is most important to you, what makes you truly happy and why you are here.
When we get clear on our purpose and our passions, we connect with our true essence. When we honour our hearts desires, we connect with the whole of creation and its abundance. But I am going a little fast here…first of all we need to clear the clutter that gets in the way of our truth.
So how do I condense a 5 year journey?
In steps of course; “Go as far as you can see, then you’ll see where to go next” Thomas Carlyle
The important thing is to take the first step.
How do we know in which direction to step?
We follow our heart.
How do we get in touch with our heart and what its telling us?
We start to clear away the clutter that’s getting in our way.
I knew that something was wrong. I knew that I didn’t want my life to continue the way it was. I KNEW THAT I WASN’T HAPPY. But I wasn’t ready, just yet, to wave goodbye to the large salary and comfortable lifestyle that Id worked so hard for.
How do you change your life when you don’t want to change your life?
In simple steps:
Step 1: Look for and follow the Clues
Let me share with you how I followed some clues at the start of my journey. The trick to following the clues is to remain receptive to new experiences and opportunities and to welcome new people into your life.
Say “yes!” more often, and a new vision of life can open up before you.
Shortly after my 40th birthday, a friend invited me to a London networking event with the organisation “Aurora”. Even though this wasn’t my normal “thing” I accepted the invitation. There were over a hundred business women at the event and the theme for the evening was “intuition in business”.
Two of the main speakers were professional mediums who worked with the police and they had us doing exercises to recognise our intuitive levels. To my surprise, I soon realised that a lot of my business success had been down to using my intuitive skills when employing sales staff. Towards the end of the evening, three of us were talking with one of the professional mediums. One of us mentioned the late husband of another friend and within moments the medium appeared to be communicating with the late husband!
Now let me emphasise here that this was seriously new territory for me. My world was one of sales figures and teamwork, drinks parties and holidays. It was a very down to earth world where one worked hard and played hard. There was no room for flights of the imagination or other worldly visitors!
As the medium continued, I was overcome by a very strange sensation. I remember feeling that I couldnt physically move and I was unable to speak, to even utter a word. I was rooted to the spot, as though gripped by some form of paralysis. After what seemed like ages, I managed to stutter “Im struggling, why am I struggling?” The answer from the medium was most dissatisfying. “Oh , we ve just had a spirit with us and it affects people in different ways”.
I cant remember how I got moving again but as I left the building with my friends, I walked no more than ten paces and then suddenly, with no warning, I burst into tears.
At this point it might be worth reminding you, that I was a well presented down to earth business woman who simply didn’t “do” tears! In fact it was difficult to remember many times in my life where I had genuinely cried. This was a very unusual experience for me and it came with no plausible explanation. I had just let go and cried openly in public. I had no real reason for crying; and even more curiously, I had no desire to stop the avalanche of tears. It felt wonderful. It felt as though a blocked pipe had finally been freed of the clutter that had been blocking it.
I searched in my mind for references, to make some sense of what had happened. I recalled an incident 5 years earlier….
Working then as a stressed Sales Manager, Id booked myself in for a Reiki massage, even though I wasn’t quite sure exactly what it entailed. The therapist explained how her hands would go to the parts of my body that most needed healing and I was simply to lie there and receive the healing”. Almost as soon as she laid her hands on my head, the tears started. I was lying down with my eyes closed and I wept quietly, the tears escaping the corners of my eyes and falling down my cheeks. I had no idea what was happening but it felt wonderful.
The problem came at the end of the treatment and I got up to leave; I couldn’t stop weeping. They had to hide me in a side room until the reception area was clear. I think the therapist was quite taken aback as she left the salon very shortly afterwards. The weeping continued through out the day. I remember shopping in the local supermarket , wearing sunglasses and quietly weeping as I did my shopping! Inside I felt fantastic but I had no idea what was happening.
And now it was happening again, five years later. I journeyed home by train, silently weeping and feeling strangely and lovingly connected with the other commuters in my carriage. It was as though I was in a state of bliss. Looking back I now realise that the layers of “self” had fallen away and for a brief period of time, I was connected to the limitless LOVE that connects us all. I was LOVE. My heart was wide open and I could sense true happiness in that moment.
Underneath our masks of personality and the daily focus of our lives lies the very core of our essence , and it is wondrous beyond belief. The thrill of my sportscar and the satisfaction of my business success were like flies on the ocean of this abundant happiness.
How had this happened? Twice. Five years apart. Why was this happening to me now? What happens next? I was in unfamiliar territory.
The next day I put on the “mask” of Sales Director again and went to work as usual. Within an hour of being in the office, to my utter dismay, I started to weep again, this time in full view of one of my sales team! “Now,” I thought to myself, “it’s one thing to shed a few tears, out of work and amongst friends, even strangers, but this was different. This was getting out of control , was potentially career damaging and needed sorting as soon as possible!”
I found an excuse to leave the office for the day and I resolved to get to the bottom of what was happening to me.
I followed up two possible courses of action from the previous evening:
1) I booked a reading at The College of Psychic Studies
2) I booked a reiki treatment with a recommended Reiki Master
….and so started a journey of discovery that was to start with me walking away from my job less than 5 months later, and that was to lead to the writing of my first book, “How to become a Money Magnet.”
My intention in the book is to inspire you to find clarity in your life by following some simple guidance. Too many of us put up with mediocre happiness and then wonder why we feel “stuck” and unfulfilled. Thank you for reading this article- it is time for you to honour the true essence of you and as the fairy tale goes, for you to live “happily ever after!” The struggle is over when we start to let go.
I learnt that I had to clear my clutter before I could reach the real me. Without clutter I am free to feel truly connected and loved. I am joyful and at peace. And I can be the very best of me, sharing my gifts with the world.
What do I mean by clutter?
– I cleared the clutter in my cottage and attracted the initial reiki experience
– I let go of some of my friends, following a huge row with one of them, and discovered a whole new set of friends and a new perception of the world. Sometimes trauma in our life hides a major turning point in our journey
– I let go of my job, when I was ready to do so, and it allowed me the freedom to uncover a new direction.
I went on a detox , letting go of alcohol and cigarettes, and shedding weight along the way…. and my thoughts became clearer.
Emotional /Mental Clutter
I realised how we hold onto our emotional “clutter” in our bodies and I discovered various ways of releasing it. Follow your intuition and work with whatever works for you.
Over the years I have used EFT and TFT (Emotional and Thought Field Therapy), Free the Inner Voice with Nikki Slade( www.freetheinnervoice.co.uk), Resonance Repatterning with Josephine Airns, Kiniesiology with Peta Pendlebury, Vibrational Healing with Yvonne Matthews, Reflexology with Hilary Wells. There are so many different offerings. Trust in yourself and your own judgement to choose the right one for you.
We are not meant to travel alone. Together we create the space for miracles.